Mental wellbeing: how disconnecting can help you reconnect
Even when we're surrounded by people, many of us can feel disconnected. Perhaps your needs aren’t being met, you’re not connecting with people on a meaningful level, or you’re going through hidden challenges or experiences nobody else knows about. A recent report defines this feeling as "a distressing feeling we get when we feel disconnected from other people, and desire more (or more satisfying) social relationships," reporting that over a third of Australians feel this way.
There’s no single factor that causes us to feel this way. The interesting part is that despite our differences and similarities, we all go through moments of feeling disconnected – whether it's from ourselves, our identity, or our communities – at some point in our lives.
So, what can we do to help feel more connected to each other? We spent time reflecting with Korin Gamadji on some of the ways they help foster social and emotional connection with identity and Community.
Since 2011, Korin Gamadji has provided pathways for building cultural strength and learning for First Nations youth within the Richmond Football Club. Connection remains a key element of the Korin Gamadji experience, with young people identifying it as a safe space to explore belonging and identity. Feelings of disconnection are universally felt by people of all ages and demographics. Talking about this and learning how we each tackle these feelings is important.
Why do we feel disconnected?
As the findings in the State of the Nation report found, there is no one single factor that causes us to feel disconnected. We can have people around us all day and still feel disconnected, or we can live isolated with the same feelings. However, there are some reasons that can help explain why you might be feeling this way:
Living alone or experiencing a lack of close family connection around you
Experiencing grief
Going through break-ups, separation, divorce and/or family break-up
A major change such as work retirement, school or job changes or becoming unemployed
Living away from home for the first time
Language or cultural barriers, or being away from your cultural origins.
You can also feel isolated from experiences that don’t change your environment but change how you feel in your environment. These feelings can include:
Heightened worry or stress
Being bullied or segregated
New discovery around your sexuality
Mental health issues such as depression or anxiety
Physical disability
Generally not feeling understood by your friends, family and peers.
What are some of the signs of feeling disconnected?
Feelings of disconnection are emotional, but they can also show up as physical and mental health symptoms, some of which may not seem obviously connected at first. Some people might experience:
Physical: headaches, nausea or generally feeling ill, pains, tiredness, low energy
Mental health: depression, anxiety, panic attacks and paranoia
Motivation: overwhelm, difficulty focusing on or finishing tasks
Sleep: difficulty falling or staying asleep, or sleeping too much
Diet: loss of appetite, over-eating, weight fluctuations
Self-worth: negative feelings about yourself, possibly even suicidal thoughts
Substance abuse: drinking too much alcohol, taking drugs or misusing medicines.
How can I feel more connected?
While there are medical or psychological services available to treat feelings of disconnection, there isn’t a cure-all for not feeling strong bonds and connections around you.
When it comes to improving feelings of connection, for some of us it’s more about doing things to reconnect with yourself, your social circles, family and general community. This is central to Korin Gamadji’s programs, which promote cultural strength, leadership, and social and emotional wellbeing. The foundations of these programs are deeply rooted in Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander practices of connecting to people and place which have been practiced for over 65,000 years.
“In the city, everything is just go go go and rushing” says Korin Gamadji program manager Brady Cooper, a proud Yorta Yorta man. “To connect, we need to disconnect from those bright lights, from our devices, from the busyness of the city.”
Korin Gamadji – Grow and Emerge (Woiwurrung language)
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples belong to the world’s oldest continuing living culture. For over 65,000 years, First Nations Australians have been fostering connection to people, place and culture. Lessons are passed from generation to generation, through yarning (talking), storytelling, and ceremony.
The Richmond Football Club knows the value of connection. In 2011, they established Korin Gamadji, a centre dedicated to growing the next generation of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander leaders. Through the delivery of the Richmond Emerging Aboriginal Leaders (REAL) program, over 3,000 young people have learnt about the power of connection, and the importance of taking time to ‘disconnect to reconnect’.
During the school holidays, Brady takes a group of high-school students to a remote location in Albury for the annual Young Fellas camp. Working with Dinawans Connection, the young fellas spend four days ‘On Country’ connecting to culture through ceremony, artefact making, and yarning with Elders.
“We offer a safe space that welcomes all young people, regardless of their sexuality, gender and ability,” says Brady “The idea is to introduce First Nations students to three key pillars of Leadership, Social and Emotional Wellbeing, and Culture.”
Connection to Country and Culture
Going ‘On Country’ is an important part of the Young Fellas REAL program. “Traditional classrooms and structured settings can sometimes fall short in fostering genuine connections for our Young Fellas participants,” says Brady. “At our Young Fellas camps, we try to create a safe environment where people can share moments of dance, storytelling, and meaningful dialogue. Participants tend to open up a bit more when we’re sitting around the campfire having a yarn.”
Giving participants the space to explore their connection to Culture, supporting togetherness, and participating in wellbeing practices can boost morale, personal confidence and alleviate feelings of disconnection. “Korin Gamadji is the perfect opportunity for people to get closer to their culture, feel a bit more connected and meet other boys who are going through the same thing,” says one of the participants at Young Fellas.
Connection through dance
One of the highlights of the camp is learning the Laguntas dance. This dance is special to the Richmond Football Club and is performed during the pre-match ceremony at the annual Dreamtime at the ‘G AFL game.
“We use dance as a way to engage with our young people, but also our older people,” says John Murray from Dinawans Connection. “When we dance strong for our old people whilst giving energy to our young ones to show them who they are.”
“The minute you start to awaken [connection to Country, culture and Community through dance] deep inside you, it just takes over,” adds Wiradjuri/Wolgalu First Nations motivational speaker, Joe Williams, who works with Korin Gamadji. “We’re creating a safe space to be able to have conversations, share moments, and share beautiful dance and connection that have kept us well for thousands of years.”
Watch the 'Why we dance' video.
Ways to reconnect
The way that you choose to connect to your community will vary depending on your culture, where you live and what makes you feel most comfortable.
Connecting to your community
Though it might feel daunting, reaching out to community organisations can be an effective first step. Don’t underestimate the power of human interaction to kickstart connection. Finding the right community group for you can be hard, especially if you don’t know where to start. Here are some ways to reach out and get involved:
Community hobbies: Places like PCYCs, local councils and community centres often have affordable, or even free, hobby sessions. They can be anything from art classes to archery.
Local sports: You don’t have to be an athlete, or even to ever have played before, to join local sports. Even if you don’t have a team, services like Just Play can connect you with others who are interested in the sport so you can form a team and make new connections along the way.
Charity work: Connect with local charities to enquire about how you can help in a physical way, to help you connect with people while also being a support to those who might need some extra help.
Book clubs: Ok, so this might sound cliche... But yes, book clubs still exist! If you are more naturally introverted, there are bookclubs that start online and allow for some initial digital connections, and then have a few in-person meet ups throughout the year.
Having a good chat
When we’re managing feelings of disconnection, it’s easy to forget how meaningful and healing a simple conversation can be. For some of us, this might mean talking to a counsellor or psychologist, but this doesn’t always have to be the case. Sometimes, more fluid and informal interactions – like those found in group settings Korin Gamadji Young Fellas camps – offer a natural space for real conversations.
Seek medical support
You don’t have to face disconnection alone. If it’s making it difficult to make those first steps to reconnecting with those around you, speaking to your GP for possible medical options, or a mental health plan to access psychological support. If you or someone you know needs help, please call:
Lifeline 13 11 14
Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800
Find out more information about Korin Gamadji programs.